Repetitive Problems at Friendship Blog – long rambling posts – ineffective

Please also read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – It’s Unfriendly – People are Bullied at the Friendship Blog/ Bullies Trolls
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There are a few reasons I stopped visiting “The Friendship Blog” as much as I used to, and I talked about those reasons in other posts (I was insulted, bullied and harassed there, for one).

One reason I did not cover in the other posts has to do with the mind-numbing repetitiveness at the site. (Not just that site, but almost every advice site or newspaper column out there I’ve ever seen.)

Some of the bullies at “The Friendship Blog” complained and whine that they thought I mentioned codependency too much.

The reason I brought the topic of codependency up as often as I did at the “The Friendship Blog” is because most people are codependent to one degree to another. I see it all the time in the questions they write in or the problems they write about, so yeah, I’m going to mention it.

The Very Long Posts

I also got to the point where I could no longer bear to read through the extremely long, meandering posts at “The Friendship Blog.”

The site’s main purpose is for people to write in with questions for advice.

Ironically, member “Wonder Why” was the first to be very blunt and tell one woman something like, “If you would shorten your post, you’d get more replies; it’s far too long right now.”

When I pretty much did the same thing a couple or weeks or months later with a different visitor (but I was not as blunt as “Wonder Why” had been; I tried to be polite about it), I was jumped on by other members (including, if I recall correctly, the immature, rude, and abusive Anonymous 1) for asking one woman if she could shorten her very long post.

The woman’s post was so long, I had trouble understanding it. I could not figure out what advice she was seeking.

I cannot understand why most women feel it’s necessary to spend thousands and thousands of words to describe a small fight they had with a female friend the day before (which is a typical problem that gets mentioned at that site often).

They will frequently go into very long, irrelevant details before asking you their question.

Instead of getting to the bottom line and saying, for example,

“My friend Betty of ten years yelled at me yesterday when I dropped a soda on her floor, and now she won’t speak to me, can you tell me what to do?,”

Such women will instead throw in 100,000 billion paragraphs of additional, useless details that go back ten years such as-

“And ten years ago, Betty and I went to my cousin Fred’s sister’s wedding.

Six years ago, Betty said she liked my hand-knitted winter scarf made from Yak fur, and she looked angry when I said I wouldn’t loan it to her.

Betty and I both enjoy Rocky Road ice cream, except lately, she prefers Vanilla. Do you think that means anything? Betty’s brother Sam, who is in the Marines (I totally have a crush on him, squee OMG!11!!!), is allergic to carrots.

Did I mention that seven years ago, Betty’s favorite color used to be purple, but now she says it’s green?”

Some of these women will go on and on and on AND ON like that for many more paragraphs.

My eyes glaze over after the third paragraph of trivia. I can’t even figure out what it is they’re getting at, or why they’re writing to the blog to begin with.

I mentioned on that site that I noticed (and this is true) that the longer posts that go on for many paragraphs or pages usually get little to no replies.

I suggested that if people shorten their posts and get to the point, they’d probably get more advice and input, which is why they are posting there, after all.

For giving that salient bit of advice, I was insulted a tiny bit and depicted as being a heartless wench… and in the meantime, the really long posts there still do not get any, or not many, replies (I was correct, in other words).

Fake Niceness and Ineffective Advice

Many people at that blog are too nice, or try to act as though they are nice, by dancing around issues instead of speaking more directly to people.

Many of the people at “The Friendship Blog” are so “fake nice” they aren’t willing to do or say things that will be of actual benefit to people who have problems there. They’re ineffective.

(I should add that the “niceness” one sees at the site is most definitely “fake” among most of the members. Many of them, right below the surface, are catty and are bullies. I sincerely tried to be genuinely nice to everyone there, even the abusers, up until I was fed up with being consistently harassed.)

I also noticed that most women who visit that site to pose a question do not usually bother to read posts by other people at that site who have problems that are similar to their problem. It was rather rare at that site.

If, for instance, someone named “Julie” writes in to that forum to say, “My friend’s dog barfed on my sofa, how do I handle this?,” and “Teresa” comes by two weeks later with the same (or similar) problem, “Teresa” will not read “Julie’s” post with all its wonderful replies from other visitors from two weeks before.

When women show no willingness to learn from other people’s mistakes, experiences, and input and make some effort to solve their problems, it gets a little tiring – and repetitive. But it happens a lot at that site.

Please see Part 2 of this post:

Dumping a Friend: Should You Always Give that Friend an Explanation?

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