My Response to Inaccurate Post at Friendship Blog

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

I left a post in response to Irene’s post today (June 13, 2012); she is owner of The Friendship Blog (and forums). I don’t know if my response to Irene’s post will remain on Irene’s forum, or if parts of it will be censored, so I will place a copy of it below.

I first wrote about Irene’s false / inaccurate post here, so please see that for background information.

Before I get to that, I wanted to comment on some of the other content I saw in that thread (“This forum needs a registered moderator“) since I last left.

(I have not bothered at this time to read Irene’s new content which she pinned on top of Wonder Why’s original post at some stage, I don’t know when. I did skim what she wrote, but it seemed like a very long excuse and rationalization as to why she permits trolling to continue, such as she cannot “afford to hire a moderator,” and so on.)

One of the first things I noticed is that the trolling has taken off even more. The second half of that page (where I did not post as “Anonymous;” I posted under my screen name “Eagle Wings”) was filled with Anonymous posters either sniping at each other, pretending that they were me, or assuming other Anonymous posters were me (again, I didn’t post as “Anonymous” at that point).


Wonder Why, Wonders Why (June 23, 2012)

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

I visited The Friendship Blog today to leave a post for Dr. Irene, the woman who owns the site; it was in response to an inaccurate post she made discussing me.

I have never left a link to this blog (‘The Unfriendly Friendship’ blog) at Irene’s site, but I guess someone else did, since Wonder Why claims she has visited this blog. I did e-mail a link to this blog to someone else, I made sure this blog’s URL was included in web search indexes, etc. The word needs to get out that the “Friendship Blog” can be an unhealthy place to post.

At any rate, while at the “Friendship Forum” today, I saw posts by other people I wanted to comment on at my blog, specifically this thread:

Hard To Make Friends

It is a mystery how some people make friends so easily while others struggle with it their whole lives.

This was also published in Ask Amy today.

    Dear Amy: I’d like some feedback from you and your readers.

    If I meet 100 people, I hit it off with two or three of them and launch a friendship, some 96-97 of them have no particular reaction to me, and then every now and then someone just takes an instant disliking to me — without my ever speaking a word to them.

    What’s up with this? Do other people have this experience or is it just me?

    I’m too embarrassed to ask my friends.

    — Socially Curious

Lazy Friends Who Seldom Take the Iniative – Friends who take you for granted

One of my big pet peeves in friendship is that I am always the one to make an effort… I have usually not been on the receiving end of a friend calling or e-mailing me to try to set up a movie or dinner date.

I used to be so insecure and needy, I would keep tracking down the same friends and calling them. They would hardly ever initiate phone calls, or meet ups. I no longer chase friends down like this; if they don’t e-mail me once in awhile or take the initiative and phone me, I stop calling or visiting them.

When I saw this letter published in the Ask Amy advice column today, I really related to it (only I was the friend who did all the work, I was not the “lazy” friend):

    Dear Amy: “Missing my Friends” wrote about being disappointed when he stopped initiating contact with two close friends and they did not pick up the slack. I was a lazy friend like that.

    I had a friend who went out of town frequently, and would call when she returned. I never initiated contact. Once, a long time passed without hearing from her and even then I didn’t call; assuring myself she would call me.

    She finally did call, and when we got together, I discovered she’d been in town for a couple of months and was about to leave town again for an extended period the next day. I realized I was about to fall off her friendship radar due to my laziness. It was a major wake-up call for me.

    I began initiating more contact and letting her know I valued her friendship and wanted to stay connected. Your advice to Missing, to turn his attention toward people who were better at friendship, was good.

    — A Better Friend Now

The Cess Pool That Is The Friendship Blog / False Accusation

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

A former fellow “Friendship Blog” member e-mailed me recently (again) to tell me to go take another look at the Friendship Blog, at one thread specifically, which I did.

(I discovered on that follow-up visit to the Friendship blog and forum that Dr. Irene Levine made a false accusation about a poster (me), which I discuss towards the end of this post.)

Here was the thread this person wanted me to look at, which is a thread begun by member Wonder Why (see also: Yep, Wonder Why is Codepdendent):

40s and full of acquaintances but no really close friends

The person who e-mailed me thinks Wonder Why sounds nutty in that thread.

The things that struck me about her main post and her follow up posts are as follows: