Article about Friends Breaking Up with Friends and Advice on How to Do It

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls


It’s Not Me, It’s You [A page about friendship break ups, from The New York Times]

If you would like to read the whole page, please click on that link.

Comments left by visitors to the page, which appear at the bottom of it, are also illuminating.

I see some of the same bitterness there by women that I saw at Dr. Irene’s “Friendship Blog.” Some women cannot handle or accept that a friend has broken up with them, or that friendship break ups are a part of life, so they become very bitter, angry people.

Here are a few high lights from the page:

    by Alex Williams
    January 28, 2012

    ….Not so in the real world. Even though research shows that it is natural, and perhaps inevitable, for people to prune the weeds from their social groups as they move through adulthood, those who actually attempt to defriend in real life find that it often plays out like a divorce in miniature — a tangle of awkward exchanges, made-up excuses, hurt feelings and lingering ill will.

    ….People start “dropping ‘starter friends’ from the early bachelor days, or early work associates, or early couples with little children like yours,” said Mr. Horchow, who wrote “The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections”…

    Psychologists consider it an inevitable life stage, a point where people achieve enough maturity and self-awareness to know who they are and what they want out of their remaining years, and have a degree of clarity about which friends deserve full attention and which are a drain. It is time, in other words, to shed people they collected in their youth, when they were still trying on friends for size.
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Dumping A Friend – do you owe her an explanation

Part 2

BEING DUMPED BY A FRIEND – should you explain why you’re dumping? The Great Controversy

The question “Why, why did my friend of five (or ten/ twenty) years dump with me no explanation?!” surfaced a lot at “The Friendship Blog”, and it began a few debates.

Most of the women at “The Friendship Blog” think if you break up with a friend, you should always tell the friend exactly why you’re doing so.

I was dumped quite a bit by friends growing up, and I’ve broken up with a few, so I’ve experienced both situations.

When I was younger, it used to bother me to be dumped with no explanation, now that I’m older, it doesn’t bother me as much.

I could not get the people at that blog to realize that being dumped should not paralyze you, and you should not permit it to do so.

You should not dwell on being dumped for months or months, or to the point it’s prohibiting you from living and enjoying life.

Being dumped is no reflection on you or your worth. You have value whether or not your friend remains your friend or chooses to stop having anything to do with you.
(more…)