The Cess Pool That Is The Friendship Blog / False Accusation

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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A former fellow “Friendship Blog” member e-mailed me recently (again) to tell me to go take another look at the Friendship Blog, at one thread specifically, which I did.

(I discovered on that follow-up visit to the Friendship blog and forum that Dr. Irene Levine made a false accusation about a poster (me), which I discuss towards the end of this post.)

Here was the thread this person wanted me to look at, which is a thread begun by member Wonder Why (see also: Yep, Wonder Why is Codepdendent):

40s and full of acquaintances but no really close friends

The person who e-mailed me thinks Wonder Why sounds nutty in that thread.

The things that struck me about her main post and her follow up posts are as follows:
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Oh The Irony – still going strong at The Friendship Blog forums

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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I dropped by ‘The Friendship Blog’ set of forums not too long ago (this is the first time in months) and am amused by the irony I am seeing.

One woman wrote in one of those very long, meandering posts I wrote of earlier (and it’s only a part 1; I can only surmise there is a part two somewhere else on the forum).

The heading of this person’s post? “Ganged Up On.”

Ah yes, myself and a couple of other ladies were ganged up upon by regular members of that very blog.

We were called names, judged, subjected to “mean comments,” etc, all of which makes these newer posts at The Friendship Blog’s forums ironic too:

Friend Made Mean Comments

Judgmental Friends

Have I Been A Jerk?, a post by NYCity12.

Oh, NyCity12, you funny thing you. You’re actually asking a group that is comprised of 98% of jerks if you have been a jerk?

And this dear woman, ajnaT,  is asking a group which consists of 98 – 99% of bullies, about how to deal with bullies? Good luck with that.

Bullying Tactics

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PSYCHOLOGY TODAY PUBLISHED MY POST

As an aside, I am happy to see that the moderators at ‘Psychology Today’ approved of my post where I gave a warning about The Friendship Blog.

My comment appeared on the page about Angelina Jolie.

The comment page to that article: page link

My post specifically: my post on Psychology Today

Yep, Wonder Why is a Codependent

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:

A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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I visited the Friendship Blog’s set of forums today (first time in a few months), and I see that “Wonder Why” is still posting there. She really does feel compelled to hand out advice – classic sign of codependency.

Highly amusing is that in a post called ‘Have I Been A Jerk?,’ this person posing the question (“NYCity 12”) got advice from “Wonder Why,” who is one of several, well, jerks, who posts at The Friendship Blog.

Wonder Why’s post in reply: Friendship and Business Don’t Mix.

Wonder Why is one of the more pushy, judgmental, obnoxious members there, who is making what sounds like a clinical diagnosis of other people she’s never met, an activity which she screams at other people for allegedly doing on that blog.

Wonder Why’s post referred to above is date stamped May 17th, 2012. Goodness, she is still posting there, giving advice?

Here’s another reply she gave in another thread date stamped May 12, 2012.

And a thread created May16, 2012 by Wonder Why: Toxic Friend check list.

Wonder Why needs a “Codependent Checklist – Am I Codependent?,” so she can be informed of points such as the following and recognize herself on the list:

  • If I spend most every day or every week at a friendship advice blog constantly dispensing advice, instead of just minding my own business most of the time and living my own life, I am probably codependent | (Source: Eagle Wings, who has read many blogs and a few books by licensed psychologists about codependency);
  • I feel the best about myself when I am giving advice and/or handling a crisis situation. (source);
  • Have a long history of focusing your thoughts and behavior on other people. (source);
  • Are outwardly focused towards others, and know very little about how to direct your own life from your own sense of self. (source);
  • Symptoms of Codependents: S/He feels compelled to help that person solve their problem – Controlling Behaviors: codependents try to control events and people through … threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination.
  • Codependency personality disorder is a condition in which a person focuses only living through or for another person, attempting to control the actions of others, attempting to “fix” others (source);
  • [more] symptoms involve fixing or controlling others instead of facing internal pain, and failing to recognize the disease in oneself (source);
  • An “expert” in knowing best how things should turn out and how people should behave, the codependent person tries to control others through overt or covert threats, coercion, compulsive advice giving… (source);
  • the person who is codependent will often give advice without being asked, or will attempt to tell others how they “should” be behaving or feeling. If the other person does not take the advice, the person who is codependent will often feel angry and rejected (source)

Sounds Like ‘The Friendship Blog’

People at Dr. Irene’s blog, “Friendship Blog” can post as “Anonymous.”

One is not required to sign in with a regular user name and verified e-mail, which makes trolling, flaming, and other harassment quite easy to achieve, and some there really do take advantage of it. If one does not log in, one’s posts will automatically appear as being by “Anonymous.”

I should also mention, though, the even members who register and use a regular screen name are pretty much permitted by Dr. Irene to flame and harass other members as well. It’s not only Anonymous members who create problems, but they do play a significant role.

I notice this following page, which I found today, contains much of the same information I gave Dr. Irene on how to cut down the amount of bullying and trolling that takes place on her her “Friendship Blog

Topix Forums: Cyberbullying [how to put a stop to it]

    …. While it may be too little too late for TOPIX, the following changes might succeed in demonstrating some ethical concern about the problem created by TOPIX FORUMS:

    1) Make people register.
    It’s not a perfect solution because anyone can make up an email address, but at least it gives people reason to pause before posting. It seems to have worked for the majority of blog sites.

    2) Allow people who have been commented about to request removal [of abusive things that have been written about them].
    Interestingly, TOPIX has been forced to do this in Switzerland, where the law gives one the right to not have comments made about them on the internet. No such law exists in the United States.

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Member Wonder Why at The Friendship Blog

“Wonder Why” is the screen name of a woman who routinely posts to Dr. Irene’s “The Friendship Blog“.

I think “Wonder Why” and I began posting to Dr. Irene’s “Friendship Blog” about the same time, in the fall of 2011.

If I recall correctly, “Wonder Why” said in some of her first posts that she cannot understand why she has a hard time making friends or keeping friends.

“Wonder Why” recently turned 40 years old, is not married, and has gone through some kind of realization that she deserves to be treated better by people, so she began ruthlessly pruning friends from her life who she believes treat her shabbily.

I’ve no problem with any of that. More power to her if she’s taking charge of her life and is not permitting people to use her, treat her with disrespect, and so forth. Good for her.

I even felt a little sorry for “Wonder Why” months ago when she seemed to indicate that she is lonely and does not know how to make or keep friends.

About a month ago, I left her a reply where I was honestly trying to help her.

I do not think “Wonder Why” realizes how she comes across to people. If she behaves in “real life” the way she does on Dr. Irene’s “Friendship Blog,” it’s no mystery to me why she is having a hard time making friends or keeping the few she has.

My honest assessment here, and I’m not saying this to be cruel, is that “Wonder Why” more often than not put forth a very aggressive, rude, bitter, hostile, angry personality at the blog, and I don’t think she even realizes it.

Or, maybe she suspects it but does not care to change.

“Wonder Why” is extremely judgemental towards other people, almost always assumes the worst of them, attributes negative motives to them when there may not be a need to, and she is unwilling to cut her friends slack for having flaws and making mistakes.
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Anonymous 1 and 2 at The Friendship Blog

I began posting to Dr. Irene’s “The Friendship Blog” around September or October 2011 under the name “Eagle Wings”.

There is a blog and a series of forums there.

It seemed like a pretty nice site at first, and I would drop in and visit daily. I enjoyed chatting with other people there, and I sincerely wanted to help people who wrote in for advice.

Within my first few days of posting there, however, a poster who posts as “Anonymous” began pestering me and harassing me. I will refer to this person as “Anonymous 1,” although her screen name is displayed on the site as “Anonymous.”

People at Dr. Irene’s blog can post as “Anonymous.”

One is not required to sign in with a regular user name and verified e-mail, which makes trolling, flaming, and other harassment quite easy to achieve, and some there really do take advantage of it. If one does not log in, one’s posts will automatically appear as being by “Anonymous.”

You can read more about what a problem it is to permit people to post Anonymously at forums and blogs at this page, which I found today (February 1, 2012):
Topix Forums: Cyberbullying

Within my first week or two at that site, this particular Anonymous poster, “Anonymous 1” would leave catty, snotty messages about me.
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