World’s Unfriendliest Friendship Advice Blog Gets New Look

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

I visited Dr Levine’s “Friendship” blog today (link to the blog). It got an image makeover, and a tag line, “The Friendship Blog – Expert Advice for Navigating Friends.”

Under Irene’s “Friendship forum guidelines” (link), we read:

-Use a pseudonym to protect your safety and privacy and that of any friends or frenemies you may mention in your post.

– No posting of advertisements permitted.

-If you own a website with information directly related to the topic being discussed, you may link to that page of your site. Any veiled efforts at self-promotion that aren’t relevant or genuinely helpful will be deleted.

-Personal attacks on other commenters will not be tolerated. You are free to challenge someone’s point of view, but please do so respectfully. Any posts containing name-calling, profane language or personal attacks will be deleted.

-Do not post the same topic more than once or in more than one forum. Duplicate discussions will be deleted.

-Please do not repost anyone else’s work without permission.

-The Friendship Forum is not responsible for any member-posted information that violates copyright law.

I don’t see anything in that list indicating that one must register with a unique screen name and log in before leaving a remark, so I’m not sure if she still permitting people to post Anonymously or not.

I skimmed over some of the forums and still see some posts showing up under the name “Anonymous,” so I am guessing she is still permitting anonymous commenting to continue (which is a big mistake).

As for Irene’s odd trepidation over people quoting other people’s material on her forums or blog, is she not aware of the practice of Fair Use? It is perfectly legal and ethical to quote from other people’s work, especially if citation is given.

This comment,

“Personal attacks on other commenters will not be tolerated. You are free to challenge someone’s point of view, but please do so respectfully. Any posts containing name-calling, profane language or personal attacks will be deleted.”

is all well and good, but will she actually ENFORCE it? Probably not.

My Response to Inaccurate Post at Friendship Blog

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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I left a post in response to Irene’s post today (June 13, 2012); she is owner of The Friendship Blog (and forums). I don’t know if my response to Irene’s post will remain on Irene’s forum, or if parts of it will be censored, so I will place a copy of it below.

I first wrote about Irene’s false / inaccurate post here, so please see that for background information.

Before I get to that, I wanted to comment on some of the other content I saw in that thread (“This forum needs a registered moderator“) since I last left.

(I have not bothered at this time to read Irene’s new content which she pinned on top of Wonder Why’s original post at some stage, I don’t know when. I did skim what she wrote, but it seemed like a very long excuse and rationalization as to why she permits trolling to continue, such as she cannot “afford to hire a moderator,” and so on.)

One of the first things I noticed is that the trolling has taken off even more. The second half of that page (where I did not post as “Anonymous;” I posted under my screen name “Eagle Wings”) was filled with Anonymous posters either sniping at each other, pretending that they were me, or assuming other Anonymous posters were me (again, I didn’t post as “Anonymous” at that point).
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Wonder Why, Wonders Why (June 23, 2012)

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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I visited The Friendship Blog today to leave a post for Dr. Irene, the woman who owns the site; it was in response to an inaccurate post she made discussing me.

I have never left a link to this blog (‘The Unfriendly Friendship’ blog) at Irene’s site, but I guess someone else did, since Wonder Why claims she has visited this blog. I did e-mail a link to this blog to someone else, I made sure this blog’s URL was included in web search indexes, etc. The word needs to get out that the “Friendship Blog” can be an unhealthy place to post.

At any rate, while at the “Friendship Forum” today, I saw posts by other people I wanted to comment on at my blog, specifically this thread:
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The Cess Pool That Is The Friendship Blog / False Accusation

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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A former fellow “Friendship Blog” member e-mailed me recently (again) to tell me to go take another look at the Friendship Blog, at one thread specifically, which I did.

(I discovered on that follow-up visit to the Friendship blog and forum that Dr. Irene Levine made a false accusation about a poster (me), which I discuss towards the end of this post.)

Here was the thread this person wanted me to look at, which is a thread begun by member Wonder Why (see also: Yep, Wonder Why is Codepdendent):

40s and full of acquaintances but no really close friends

The person who e-mailed me thinks Wonder Why sounds nutty in that thread.

The things that struck me about her main post and her follow up posts are as follows:
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How to respond to online haters

Please be sure to read the most important post at this blog:
A Warning About The Friendship Blog – Toxic – Unfriendly Bullied Bullies Trolls Dr Irene S Levine

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There are definitely haters and trolls at Dr. Levine’s “Friendship blog,” (www.thefriendshipblog.com/) and, unless she has changed things since I was last at her blog (which would be around January 2012), she refuses to do anything to stop them.

Here’s an article which gives tips on how to deal with those type of cretins.

How to respond to online haters

By Andrea Bartz and Brenna Ehrlich, June 2011

The page gives advice on how to handle trolls on Facebook and Twitter, and under the section headed “In the event of an all-out war” we read this:

    The wonderful thing about the Internet is that it encourages everyone to have an opinion — and the horrible thing about the Internet is that it affords everyone the ability to express it.
    As a general rule, if an under-the-bridge dweller sends you a mean e-mail, flames you in the comments section of your blog or pontificates on your unattractiveness under your latest cat grooming tutorial on YouTube, just don’t engage.
    Said bumpy-faced one is looking to get a rise out of you, and executing a counterstrike will only result in more wholly eloquent zingers in the “YOUUUU SUKKKK” vein.
    Sports columnist Jeff Pearlman decided to track down and confront his trolls for a CNN column and found the whole ordeal to be an exercise in futility.
    “It’s sort of like stomping out ants with your foot,” he says. “It works temporarily, but then the ants come back even stronger. Truthfully, you’re better off pretending these people don’t exist. Because they’re crying to be noticed; to have the platform you have. Engage them, you make their wish come true.”
    Still, that doesn’t mean you have to suffer in martyred silence all the time.
    “We should remember that any information attached to our name, whether it’s accurate information we supply ourselves without thinking or mean-spirited and inaccurate statements made about us by haters, is going to stay online forever,” says Aboujaoude. “That is why standing up to hecklers can be an important part of maintaining our online reputation.”
    A simple fix is simply deleting any outright racist, rude or misogynistic comments from your own personal domains, or flagging abusive sentiments on the domains of others, and then contacting the webmaster. Or, you could be a little more creative.
    There have been some instances in which folks have stood up to trolls in a manner that entirely obliterated the original slight.